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Sex is on the mind in between those rare moments of silence. All day. We all want it and should celebrate it when the getting is good. And sometimes we want just that. Sex. No obligations or expectations of further responsibility. We want to come together to recharge and release some tension along the way. Maybe we need to feel wanted, connected and cared for. This culture club of casual hookups is growing and it pulls its member list from all ages and stereotypes not just the young alcohol-fueled sexually charged housemates of MTV Real World.

So what does “hooking up” even mean? There are many definitions, but most are based on the concept of adults interested in sex but not in a committed relationship. We call this NSA – this isn’t a security checkpoint, you’re thinking TSA. “No Strings Attached” is thrown around when talking about hookups. Maybe you find it at a bar, spin class, or maybe you’ve been swiping through your iPhone. You can meet someone, have sex, and be free of anything that resembles future commitment. You can either forget about a heartbreak or expand your sexual horizons.

Instead, you can get off and invest the remaining energy into other areas of improving your life. Maybe you are focusing on continuing an education, building a career, parenting, or learning more about what they want from life. Perfectly acceptable reasons.

At the same time, there’s also the idea that these adults prefer to engage with a partner who feels safe, offers sexual pleasure and satisfaction, and may become regular enough to offer the chance for both to become skilled at having sex with each other. With that said, hookups lend themselves to a sense of exploration. It’s a chance to explore sexual fantasies that we might not have stepped out and tried when in a relationship. It might seem like a stretch but hookups can expose to us to different things that we might ultimately discover we want in a long-term relationship.

There are a lot of places online where you can get exactly what you’re after, handcuffs included, at the few taps of your finger. The explosion of apps and online sites for every niche fetish and fantasy has changed the game of hooking up. It is now possible to get off as quick as you’d like. And if the girl is on a hookup site, she’s already aware that it is just a hookup (not always). If you set the intention that you’re looking for something in particular, then you know the woman is receptive to it. So there’s relief in that. This is a good thing, although I always recommend keeping good communication so that everyone’s needs are being understood and met. That is, if you decide to keep it an on going thing.

Who is engaging in hookup culture? I’m confident that some members of every generation have been a part of the hookup culture of their time. Casual hookups are not contained to a certain social or economic group. Casual sex among seniors is popular enough to have public health experts scrambling to offer new resources to older people.

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