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Have you ever seen those guys who are out of shape or at one point lifted weights and still believe that the eight workout’s they performed when they played high school football, decades ago, gives them the right to walk around as if though they are muscular?

I am talking about the guys whose arms float as they stroll from side to side?  Have you noticed older or middle aged men who are striving to emerge as if though they have the physic of a runway model?

What is the violation that these men have in common? The answer is that they all wear clothing that is too tight for them.



Let’s take a look at four key areas where men accidentally tighten up:


Belly popping out of an Unbuttoned or Cut Off Shirt

Here in Brooklyn you have certain hipsters who love drinking beer while stuffing their face with nachos and cheese. These bearded bro’s assume that its okay for their fat fucking gross belly’s to pop out while they are being social. Before you even notice the cheese and left over food on their facial hair from weeks past, the first thing you will observe is that their belly button is staring right at you. Don’t do this, not even at the pool, not even in the privacy of your bedroom, don’t.


Tight Shorts

The best thing to compare this to, the boner killing high wasted shorts that women wear, the ones that look like they browed from grandma. Its just as bad when men wear tight shorts, you know the ball the huggers. Some guys wear it because they are trying to illustrate to the members of the same sex that they have a huge package, but if this is not your mission, then understand, that to women and the rest of the world, this looks bad, seeming like you are trying to make up for your size by being in denial, not to mention its gross. Don’t wear tight shorts it’s just not cool.


Sporting Tight Shorts

Yes there are those of you who wear those spandex shorts to the gym. I see you in my Soul Cycle class all the time. Let me be the first to tell you that unless you are entering the Tour De France, you should do everyone a favor and put some athletic shorts over them, other wise you look like an idiot. You think people want to see your balls in a wedgie? I cycle, I wear the tight sporting shorts and I wear my athletic shorts over them, you know the ones that fit. This way what is happening with my balls stays my business, that why they referred to as your “privates” man.

Tight Shirts

I believe that when it comes to men wearing tight clothing, how they really look depends on the shape of their body. If a man puts on a shirt where his nipples suddenly become the focul point (which I believe looks much more interesting when it happens to women) and he looks like his has squeezed himself in, you know where circulation has taken second place next to comfort, then that shirt is too tight. Take it off and donate it to the Salvation Army or your teenage nephew.


We men are like fine wine, we get better with age, we look sexier with grey hair, we are so amazing genetically that wrinkles even look good on us. When we force things that are not meant to be, it makes us look stupid. Embrace your age, always live in the present and love who you have become. Remember wear clothing that fits and blends with your body.

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