Don’t Sweat It: 8 Ways to Combat Perspiration
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Don’t Sweat It: 8 Ways to Combat Perspiration

We all have those days when you’re walking out the door, feeling confident and pumped on the way to your meeting or first date; you look good and feel fresh after spending a little extra time getting ready. Then it hits you—the sweltering summer heat. Your start sweating like a goddamn fool and before you even make it to the end of your street, your pit stains are the size of Montana.

I despise the relentless battle between my body and my poorly timed perspiration. You have no idea how many times I have been waiting for the subway and my shirt is sticking to my back before the train even pulls up. Even worse is when I’m on a date, especially with someone I like, and the excitement causes me to start sweating profusely, and I have to excuse myself to the restroom and ask myself in the mirror, “Why the fuck am I sweating? This restaurant is air-conditioned.

With that, I have made it my mission to figure out how I can help us men prevent embarrassing perspiration. Thanks to global warming, summer seems to get started earlier and earlier every year and even the weatherman doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, so here are 8 tips for keeping your sweat under control this season:

 

1. Your Hair: Cut your hair, especially your bangs, shorter during the warmer months; opt for a buzz cut or something sharp that doesn’t leave any hair hanging on your face. When you have longer locks, natural oils (sebum) have more length to protect and moisturize; as you sweat, the salt from your perspiration dehydrates your hair, causing it to become dry and brittle. (Read: damage shortens the life of the hair strand, which is nicer way of saying, “you’re losing it, my man.”)

 

2. Your Grooming Products: Start using lighter and more natural grooming products, while avoiding any product that contains the following ingredients:

 

  • Parabens: These infiltrate the skin allegedly interfere with hormone function. Parabens can also imitate estrogen, the primary female sex hormone—enough said.
  • DEA Cocomide & Lauramide: For those of you smoking the “good stuff”, don’t worry, this is not the same DEA that will knock your doors down. This specific DEA is found in moisturizers and sunscreens, and its compounds can cause skin and eye irritation.
  • Synthetic Fragrances: Usually listed as the last ingredient on the back of the bottle, these chemicals trigger allergies and make your skin sensitive, which depending on your nervous system, can cause perspiration.
  • Petrolatum and Mineral Oils: Mostly found in your hair care products to lock in moisture and to promote shine, these ingredients cause irritation and breakouts, which in turn, can make your scalp and forehead sweaty.

 

3. Your Clothes: The qualities of the textiles you wear contribute a great deal to perspiration, which is why I recommend wearing very light and high quality cotton and natural fibers in the summer heat. Stay away from, viscose rayon, silk, nylon and polyester blends. Also, be aware of the color of your fabrics; darker clothes, or white fabrics, are your best friends because make humidity less visible; light colors like baby blue or light gray will show off your sweat stains as soon as you start misting.

 

4. Your Fragrance: I have some fragrances that I love, but in warmer weather, they make me sweat like hell. There are so many ingredients in colognes and scents that it’s often difficult to pinpoint what exactly is irritating your pores. My advice: try a lighter scent, and even then, don’t spray it directly on your body; instead, spritz it on your wrists and dab it lightly on your neck and behind your ears, or mist it on your clothes.

 

5. Your Socks, Underwear & Shoes: For the same reason you wouldn’t wear a Christmas sweater in 90-degree heat, don’t wear heavy socks with your leather shoes, or your feet are going to be fucking hot and sweaty. And don’t suffocate your two friends downstairs by wearing thick cotton underwear; not only will it irritate your skin, but your balls will sweat and it’s going to be equally as gross as it is uncomfortable. I’m not going to talk down to you (like many writers do to men), because the answer is simple: change into lighter shoes, and wear socks and underwear in breathable cotton.

 

6. Your Diet: Spicy tacos and chicken wings are delicious, but when you take a bite, chemicals stimulate your nerve receptors and convince your nervous system that you’re hot; your sweat glands will activate and your body will start to behave as if you’re in a bathhouse—no happy endings here, bro. Additionally, be weary of caffeine, hot beverages, fast foods, chocolate, white bread, excess sodium, fatty dairy, alcohol or any processed foods—your body has to work twice has hard to process these foods, causing you to break a sweat while simply digesting.

 

 7. Your Showers: Even though the steam from your hot shower is good for you in that it opens your pores and helps detoxify your body, if you find yourself sweating after your morning shower, conclude your bathing session with a blast of cold water. This will help close your pores and prevent you from sweating as you dry off—in that case, you’d just need another shower.

 

8. Your Morning Meditation: When you first wake up or right after your morning shower, get yourself into a habit of mediating—just close your eyes, take some deep breaths, and think about all that you want to create and attract. Doing this for even just 1 minute a day will lessen anxiety, nervousness and stress, and therefore reducing sweating.

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